I was walkin down Lawerence ave, last Friday night, lookin for a toilet. I stumbled across this….what I thought was a seafood restaurant called Admirals (theater). The front door smelled like fish, so I walk in. Wait a minute sir! Shouts an employee, they remind me I can’t smoke inside anymore and ask for 25 bucks. I just want to use the bathroom, I say. Doesn’t matter she says. I give her the money cause the little hedgehog is starting to breath air for the first time. ID? She says. This place must be fancy, no children I say. James she says. James Lourie she says. What’s your name? I says. Breezy, she says. Bye Breezy, I says. Breezy gives me a disgusting look. I walk into Admirals and the music is really loud. I flag down a waitress and ask where the bathroom is. She points. Whats your name? I says. Serenity, she says. You have a beautiful smile Serenity, I says. Thank you, she says. Do you come here often? No, Ive never been here. I’m just trying to take a shit!, I says. She looks at me weird. Where’s that shitter? I says. She gives me a disgusting look. She points. Thank you, I says. I walk past many waitresses and into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet and my girlfriend calls me. Hello, I says. Where are you? We’re about to sing happy birthday, She says. Admirals, I says. You fucking asshole, she screams. Wait for me, I says. Wait for you? You’re at a fucking strip club, she says. She hangs up and I take the happiest dump of all time.